***Disclaimer – REALLY SENSITIVE topic***
Mental Health is always a touchy and sensitive topic for anyone that is going through it or has experienced it in the past, with 1 in 4 people experiencing mental health in the UK and 1 in 10 young people will experience a mental health problem. With working in the mental health sector as a support worker it is definitely something people need educating about as there’s not a lot of understanding surrounding mental health and the different disorders there is, which leads to a lot of stigma surround it there is absolutely no shame in having a mental health problem.
Mental health hits close to home for me, I have experienced depression about 5 years ago when I was with my abusive boyfriend, at first he was lovely and then he totally changed I would say he didn’t necessarily hit me but put pressure on my arms to restrict me from moving sometimes leaving bruises, was controlling and always played mind games but at the same time reverting back to the person I first met, it got to the point that honestly I didn’t want to be around anymore I just felt utterly useless and stuck in a rut it triggered i’d say unresolved feelings about the death of my mum. My mind would instantly wander to thinking of my mum, the grief of when she passed away and not the thoughts of the good times before she passed away but the bad when she went through domestic violence herself on many occasions I saw first hand so as you would imagine wouldn’t do well for my deteriorating mental health.
After months and months of being with him and constantly feeling utter rubbish I took myself off to the doctors who prescribed antidepressants, and of course that didn’t go down well with him as he kept making me feel like I was attention seeking. After a year of being with him I was lucky enough to be speaking to a guy that I had met through Instagram who is now my husband, he made me realise how much he was controlling me without knowing about the situation, it helped me finally open my eyes. It’s so easy to get blind sighted being with someone who is controlling and nasty even after promising yourself you would never put yourself in that situation regardless of what any one says.
I took the antidepressants for quite a while, they seemed to work but I really needed to get myself out of the relationship where one day I really just had enough of feeling so horrible, it’s not me and to be honest I thought that i’ve been through enough shit in the past without that adding onto it, I broke free of the relationship and persisted despite the endless calls, texts and turning up outside my flat and it honestly was the best thing i’ve ever done. I now no longer need the antidepressants, I have a lovely husband and the most beautiful daughter and aiming to go back to university to progress my psychology degree and do mental health nursing, don’t get me wrong I do feel depressed at points surrounding anniversaries of my mum which as you’d imagine is understandable but it’s manageable without medication.
Your mental health is important, it doesn’t matter if you feel it’s the smallest thing in comparison to others it still matters. If you are suffering from any form of mental health speak to someone, a friend, a family member, a charity, your GP, it is really important that you don’t let it take over your life. I’d like to think that I will always make time for anyone that wants a chat if they’re feeling low.